Life in the Fail Lane: Jingle Fails! Jingle Fails!WARNING: The following fail is going to involve atheists! If you get easily butthurt, you are advised to leave now with your dignity!
It's the Catholic new year, also called Advent! And that means Christmas is coming soon!
And sure enough, the gift of fails just keeps on giving!
As some of you may recall, I wrote an entry about the stupidity of some atheists a while back. porcelain-requiem.deviantart.c…
Well atheist stupidity has hit an all new level!
What do I mean? Allow me to explain...
Some atheists just can't deal with the fact that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus. And instead choose to attack and belittle Christians for celebrating their faith.
Because, you know, Christ
mas has nothing to do with Christ
, am I right?
And before you go all, "BUT WINTER SOLSTICE!!" on me, I shall say this...
Contrary to what you believe, the Catholic Church didn't take all the pagan holidays and make them Christian. It actually has to do with this thing that orbits us; you might have heard of it, it's called the moon.
See the Church has always followed the lunar calendar, and also has roots in the Jewish traditions. That's why Easter is always around Passover, Christmas is always around Hanukkah, etc.
The pagan days just happened to be around or fall on the Christian holy days because some pagans also used the moon as a guide.
Most of the pagans of the time ended up becoming Christian anyway, so it's irrelevant to assume that the Church stole all of their days in order to make them Christian.
But anyhoo, back to stupid atheists because that's why you're here!
Before we continue, I feel the need to warn you. What you are about to see may be the stupidest thing that the Fail Lane has ever encountered. The sheer magnitude of this fail is so immense, it may make your brain evaporate into goop. So, I advise you to don your internet haz-mat suits as we approach this fail.
Ready? All right then!
Look at this sign! Just take it in!
I... I just... I can't even... what the flying rat farts?
Okay... do I even have to point out the sheer stupidity of this?
So, the ad depicts a little girl writing to Santa about how she doesn't want to go to church because she's "too old to believe in fairy tales."
WHAT??Even Failboat needs to ponder this stupidity...
So, she's writing to Santa -- who is, by all accounts a fairy tale character -- because she's too old to believe in fairy tales?
No... no... just stop. This actually hurts my brain...
Sure the real Santa -- Saint Nicholas -- existed many centuries ago, but he was far more badass than the "jolly old elf" figure.Not even Chuck Norris can deck a heretic the way ol' Nick can.
And even if we take into account the real Saint Nick here, I think it's safe to assume this kid isn't writing to the Catholic saint since this is an atheist ad and all, and silly Catholics believe in nonsense, am I right?
So that means she's writing to the fairy tale
Santa, somehow assuming that he's going to use his magic Santa powers to keep her from going to church. But remember, she doesn't believe in fairy tales you guys!
I... oh my gosh... I need to sit down.
Atheists never made sense to me, but this is an all new low. They've just taken all sense, chewed it up, spat it out, stomped on it, and then set it on fire.
If a Christian holiday can make them that butthurt, then perhaps they need to re-examine life.
As for me, I will enjoy the celebration of my Lord and Savior's birth when it comes.
Anyway kids, that's all for now! Take care and God bless!